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| Mark Twain with cigar. |
According to Mark Twain:
— “It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.”
— “Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.”
— “Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.”
— “I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.”
— “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
According to Will Rogers
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| Willl Rogers with homburg hat. |
— “The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!”
— “This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”
— “The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected [to Congress].”
— “The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”
— “With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.”
According to Jay Leno
— “Congress is very upset with Roger Clemens because they feel like they were lied to. Good! Now they know how we feel.” –Jay Leno
According to Bob Hope
— (At a White House Correspondents Association dinner for President Eisenhower) “It is a great pleasure to be here, entertaining our President. … We were supposed to have smoked tongue for dinner tonight, but Senator Morse was not available. I see Senator McCarthy is here tonight (he wasn’t) with his food taster. I first met the President ten years ago in North Africa, where he was a general. He had some authority then.”